"And so she sways,
With the ever changing wind.
The creak of collision,
Your lies grasping my truths.
Tell me how it'll feel,
If the skies were magenta,
curing the pain.
If your words no longer hung,
Like curtains of shame."
-- Sandra Esperanza
-end of comment-
that's for the previous job attachment. its over, done, forgotten, poof, dun wanna tok abt it.
today parveen from IMG contacted Karen, some PR post for the next job attachment @ Singapore Sun Festival.... and it starts like TODAY?! gimme a break...
but its ok, i'm super interested in working for IMG... *prays I can get permanent employment there*
yes its the work+assignments months ahead before the next big break, buck up everyone!
//sandra.esperanza.
earlier today, 2 bodies were found in a Kuala Lumpur shophouse. The deceased, brutally raped and murdered, is the wife of this late relative.(news coverage is available in the chinese papers and The Sun Online Journal) The 2 children witnessed the murder and are now orphans.
although i have no strong recollection of how these 2 relatives look like, its extremely disturbing to receive such news, it was already shockin enough 3 months back, now its appalling that my relative's children have to go through another trauma.
i'm hereby asking for the prayers of all who've passed and read my blog, and to remind us all of how lucky each and everyone of us are, regardless of the troubles we may be burdened with.
may they rest in peace.
//sandra.esperanza.
but that's just part of my giant heap of stuff. many thanks to mummy dearest for sponsoring the trip! xD
Other interesting pics I took included my trip to Dreamworld:
and the awfully trilling Hurricane Ride I took with a couple of my mum's friends:
and also photography projects on the street life of bangkok, eg:
For more photos visit either my [photoalbum] or [deviantart account]!
for now its back to doing my homework! *bangs wall*
//sandra.esperanza.
Where's there to say really, apart from school and more school and meeting my boy whatever little chance I get...I hardly have a social life...nonewhatsoever.
i've been thinking though... maybe coz of this book titled 'ninteen minutes' by jodi picoult... or maybe coz i just need to tink of smth else other than work.
i've been thinking...
there's this whole incomprehensible aspect of an identity.
many equate the identity crisis to unstable hormonal levels in pubescent teens, we all know deep down there's no dictionary definition or criteria to the notion that you belong' somewhere. the cliques in class expand into the cliques at work, the social circle outside of it, within your family, amongst your supposed friends and acquaintances, the reflection in your mirror...
we've got to be kidding if we say we understand who we are and who we love. In a way, but not entirely, never entirely, that's the reason why religion becomes so essential in so many people's lives, we need to believe that there is a greater being that can fathom what we find so hard to comprehend. that God knows who we really are, and that's why he's the Creator...
The reason why I'm voicing these opinions, is that somehow I came to realize at some point in time, that there isn't a necessity to belong. And that till today, not only myself but many I know, have never found out who they really are. All that bitching about people being two-faced, it makes me think "who isn't?". The mask you pull on when you meet a potential employer, the smile you plaster when you meet a neighbor but back home either you enjoy the comfort of a silent abode or you convince yourself that home is where the heart is and you lose yourself in the warmth others provide you with.
A confidante can strip you off most of your masks, but no one exposes the really raw side of them because even they themselves, are afraid of facing that reality. The ones you love are the ones you turn to, but when you are melting in their embrace, who's to know that deep down, they're burying their intentions of realizing their 'true' self in an effort to stay strong and live, for you?
Living, is to live for others. So do you lose yourself in the end? Or were we born empty, then filled with the expectations and resolutions others bred in us? If it were, then there never was an identity to begin with...
food for thought huh?
go figure.
For me, there's no real 'me', only the 'me' that needs physical and emotional sustainance to keep on breathing. The 'me' that scrutinizes everything that surrounds 'me;. The 'me' that lives for you, and the others that live in turn, for 'me'.
In short baby, I am you and you, are me. :)
//sandra.esperanza.
Heard of it in the past but never got to creating account so I decided to start one. Tidied up a couple of my photography collections (albeit amateur but I reckon they're not bad) and put them up as well as a few paintings and drawings I did in the past. Do check them out at crypticlover.deviantart.com to increase my viewership and do comment on them if you can so that I can improve as an artist.
its the holidays now although I still have 2 assignments to hand in tommorow, and I bought a Nintendo DS! woohoo! so i'm not afraid that I'll be bored this holz.
Guess that's all for now, remember to check out my site!
peace!
//sandra.esperanza.
And why miss this once in a lifetime chance?
Lets just say, little boys and girls out there, learn from me: don't procrastinate!
Yes, I have 2 papers due tommorow, and I haven't started on one very tedious 2000 word thesis on Arts&Aesthetics. . . I've done the research but my word.doc is blank! And see, a thorough research paper comes equipped with footnotes, excellent examples, photographs and eloquent argumentives... so now now, how long could that take? perhaps a couple of hours you say? perhaps... but what about that report writing that's left half done? Or the freehand press release that's untouched? Or say that OTHER research paper on drawing materials?
UH huh! So now you know why... so instead of blogging this incessant complaining and further procrastination, I think its time I get my ass back to work. To all of you enjoying the air con comfort of class now, good for you! =)
p/s: its not all bad, my mother offered to fork out cash to buy a Nintendo DS Lite that I can share with my brother... now I can play games like crazy during the holiday( cause I intend to learn how to play warcraft too! wooohoo. )
p/ss: check out the class blog link to see SUPER unglam fotos of me, courtesy of class photog, Sofian.
//sandra.esperanza.
A date chiseled upon its tomb.
A single white rose burns to embers,
A scar renewed and branded twice over.
The smile of the liar reigns,
A thirst for his blood remains.
Where mercy and empathy exist as enemies,
A winter will seize his black heart.
The Lord who turns his deaf ear,
Witnesses the slaying of Redemption,
As the sinner crowns the throne,
And the sins left broken in the wind.
//sandra.esperanza.
-stories//myFRIENDSnFAMILY
jerome{bro}
samantha
samantha(blogspot)
khai
amrita
hafiz
vivien
sharon
eliza
vera
wei ye
-memories//myPHOTOALBUM-
[photos]
-deviations//myART-
[art.portfolio]
-facebook//myFACEBOOKaccount-
[sandra.esperanza]
-philosophy//myPERCEPTIONS-
sandra esperanza
"I am the personification
of the irony that life brings.
I am the subtle whisperings,
of your lucid dreams.
What I am,
is the breaking of my soul,
and the rekindling of fire."
-- by me, to you.
-whispers//mySHOUTBOX-
.know her
.hear her
.leave her
.tell her
.hear her
.leave her
.tell her